On Character Day – Thank You! “性格日” – 谢谢!

characterday

A Facebook posting by VIA Institute a few days ago reminding us that 18 September 2015 is Character Day had me reflected the journey I walked, since August 2011.  It was when I (so fortunately) chanced upon positive psychology and an online course by the institute called VIA Character Strengths.  The course had such an impact on my perspectives that I started this blog to document the 7-week journey.

The learning entirely shifted my paradigm and I have since faithfully applying what I learn on so many areas of my life.  The outcome is positive and encouraging, to say the least. I apply the skills on many people, it gives me a great sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.

“A picture says a thousand words.”  This picture is tribute to Character Strengths on Character Day and to this great journey I have walked since I began my learning 4 years ago.  And, THANK YOU, for the inspiring perspectives and knowledge.

VIA Institute  (VIA研究中心)日前在脸书提醒我们,2015年9月18日是“性格日”。这一则帖子让我回想起我学习VIA性格强项的心路历程。该七个星期课程对我有莫大的影响和启发,改变了我的许多观点与想法上的模式。我十分努力学习和运用在日常生活上。结果是令人鼓舞的!

“一张图片胜过千言万语。” 我就用这幅画来贺庆9月18日“性格日”和我四年的学习征程。谢谢你!

Love Thyself 爱自己

“Do you think you are more beautiful than you say?”
“Yeah… yeah.”
“We spend a lot of time as women analysing and trying to fix the things that aren’t quite right, and should spend more time appreciate things that we do like.”

Sharing this beautiful video I named it: Love Thyself

We must first learn to love ourselves , before we know how to love others.

Picture1

“你覺得你比你所描述的自己漂亮嗎?”
“是 …..是啊。”
“身为女人,我們花了大部分的時間分析事情和試圖修復我們不喜歡東西;我们應該花更多的時間在我们喜歡的事情上。”

分享這個动人的視頻,我把它命名為:愛自己

人,要学会好好爱自己;才能好好爱他人。

A Touching Story on STReNGTHS 一篇关于强项的感人故事

This is an inspiring story I recently read in  the New Straights Times. It touches the core of what this blog has been advocating: To flourish, you must know your strengths and how to leverage on them.

I learned that it is so important for parents to have:

  • The character strengths of Love, Hope, Perseverance, Courage and Wisdom — we saw how a positive-minded mother defied all odds and the traditional school system to nurture her daughter who has learning difficulty transforming the girl who severely lacked self-esteem and confidence into someone who is confident and, more importantly, happy about who she really is.
  • Appreciation of the importance of Knowing the Strengths of their child and  allowing their child to Flourish by Nurturing the Strengths.

Click to read the full story HERE.  I hope this story not only encourages parents with learning disability kids but also inspires all parents to move in the right direction : start from knowing the STRENGHTHS of your kids!

Do you know the strengths of your kids? Have you thought of how to nurture their strengths to enable them to flourish and be happy?

Relevant links:
http://learningbeyondschooling.org/
http://www.nst.com.my/life-times/showbiz/people-dance-talks-1.103189
http://www.medicinenet.com/dyslexia/article.htm
And I really like this “Famous People with the Gift of Dyslexia” http://www.dyslexia.com/famous.htm
http://hip-hop-dance.net/

我最近读了一篇非常感人且有启发性的报道 。这个篇报道直接关联到这个博客一直倡导的核心:成功的首要,是你必须知道你的强项长处,以及如何好好地利用它们。
 
我把这篇报道翻译了,想与更多的人分享。我从这个故事里上了很好的一课:
  • 父母亲的爱,乐观,,勇气智慧是何等重要 —  一位积极开明的母亲如何排除所有困难和抵制传统的学校制度,去培育一个有学习困难的女儿,使得她从一个缺乏自尊和自信而成为一个拥有自信心和开心的女孩。更重要的是她快乐的做着自己!
  • 父母亲完全了解孩子的长处,从孩子的长处为出发点来培育他们的重要性。

我希望这个故事不但能鼓励有学习障碍孩子的家庭,也能启发所有父母从正确的方向去培养及教育孩子:从了解他们的强项长处出发!

你知道你的孩子的长处吗?你有没有想过如何培育他们的长处,使他们茁壮快乐地成长?

 
“手上拿着iPad,坐在沙发上的Samantha,看起来和其他15岁的女孩完全没有什么不同。她就像一个害羞而不善交谈的女孩。若是有人和她说话,她会以笑声和她的手指玩着她的头发来掩饰她的紧张。有时,她会斜睨着眼交谈;当你问及她简单的问题时,她会将她的手掌覆盖在她的脸上说:“我不知道”。当她对别人对她的关注感到累了时,她会走开到一个角落坐着。当她感觉好多了,她会倒回来参与谈话或只是聆听着她的母亲,慧玲,和大伙聊着关于她的事。
 
Sam,她的昵称,是一个有阅读障碍 (‘dyslexic’) 的女孩。
 
“她看这个世界的方式和平常人是不一样的。她是以图片或是画面而非文字去思考。” 慧玲说。慧玲是一个家庭主妇,你会觉得她所做的一切就只是照顾她的三个孩子。然,这位前钢琴老师绝对做的比你想象的多得太多。

我是在一个很偶然的情况下遇到她。我停下来问路,一个有趣的巧合。 “你是在找我的房子吗?”她问道。当时,她正从儿童保育中心走这在回家。她和她的丈夫,宋,在两年前开始了一个为5-17岁孩子的支援小组,这些孩子包括了那些有自闭症的和有阅读障碍的。“我觉得孩子们需要作定期的互动交流,做他们喜欢做的事。逼着去他们不喜欢的东西是没有意义的。”慧玲说。

当年,当慧玲发现了Sam的状况时,就是采取了同样的方法。慧玲注意到当同龄的其他孩子们学习阅读和写作时,Sam却没有这样的兴趣。但慧玲并没有惊慌,她还是继续每天晚上不辞其劳地念故事书给Sam听。

Sam也和其他孩子们一般被送到幼儿园上课。当时,她的父母并没有意识到她是有困难学习的。因为Sam的状况,她有着有着卑微的自尊心,她没有和任何人说话,或者与其他孩子打成一片。“在好几年后,她才告诉我,每一天幼儿园的老师让她坐在一个角落里,盯着墙壁 — 因为她和其他孩子不一样。”

这样的经验对大多数孩子来说绝对是很痛苦的。但因为Sam有着不同的思维方式,她认为老师是在和她玩游戏。然,随着时间的过去,她觉得“游戏”变得十分无聊,于是她告诉了她的妈妈,她不想上学了。妈妈同意了。当Sam八岁时,慧玲一位有阅读障碍儿子的朋友,给了Sam一个测试。这位朋友曾上了一个关于阅读障碍的课程。

Sam被发现了有轻度的阅读障碍,送去一个中心,在那里她可以得到额外的学习援助和参加特殊班。但,它却不是慧玲所预期中的。“老师对待Sam就像对待一个正常的幼儿园孩子,”她说。于是,她决定开始在家教育Sam。就在其时,慧玲方意识到,虽然她的女儿有学习障碍,她却在其他方面有卓越的表现 – 艺术方面!

Sam已经学会了拉小提琴,钢琴以及吉他。她打高尔夫球,画画和游泳。她也跳芭蕾舞,但她现在的最爱,是嘻哈舞蹈。“这是她表达自己的方法。我不介意她跳一整天,因为它使她高兴,” 慧玲补充说Sam在跳舞时是一个完全不同的人,她充满活力,充满生机和自由,不像她平时安静的自我。

Sam在两年前看了一个城市舞蹈比赛(‘Showdown’)播出时发现了嘻哈舞蹈。她说服了她母亲,让她参加一个每周一次的街头舞蹈班。现在,Sam每天都在市区舞蹈班跳舞。她最疯狂的梦想是在人群面前和在电视上跳舞。而她的朋友竟为她实现了这个梦想,邀请她参加了他们的Showdown。他们形成一个叫“Hype”的四人组,竟在一百队选队里得了排名第十二位!但,她们最终并没有进入比赛。

尽管如此,Showdown的经验对于Sam来说是一个转捩点。她变得更加有自信,在公众场合比较健谈。她会与她的朋友逛商场,看电影。她也因此获得了一点点的名气。有一天,在吉隆坡市中心,一个十几岁的女孩跑过来,给了Sam一个拥抱。这个女孩,和许许多多人一样,看到Sam在电视里跳舞,很为Sam的舞步感到惊讶。

曾几何时,Sam是那么地害怕被嘲笑。然,现在,慧玲说,她的女儿已经变成为一个快乐的人,这一切都因为她坚信给予Sam自由的选择。

在过去两周,Sam获得了奖一份学金以及参加了一个为期十天在槟城举办,来自美国舞蹈老师参加的舞蹈讲习班。“教官说,Sam已掌握了舞蹈的纯正形式,只要给予更多的实践,她将成为是最好的舞者。这真让我感到自豪。”慧玲说。她补充说,Sam希望成为一个好的舞者和编舞者。她希望有一天有自己的舞蹈工作室。

慧玲和她的丈夫在培养自己的孩子成就上,走了一段很长的路。他们十六岁的女儿,Amrita,现在正在与她的爸爸在欧洲参於及增加自己对国际音乐的经验。她立志要成为一名歌手和作曲家,就像她最喜欢的艺人,尤娜。慧玲还有一个八岁的儿子,Arian,他们怀疑他也有阅读障碍。“他是读得慢一点,但在其他的事情上,他非常的敏锐。他十分爱说话。”,慧玲对她所有的孩子采取家庭教育(‘home school’)。Arian对漫画书有兴趣,慧玲就让他追寻他自己的兴趣。毕竟,你永远不知道他长大时他会成为什么样的人。

广泛来说,阅读障碍是一种关于发展性的阅读残疾。它使大脑不能正确地认识和处理符号。它发生在一个有助于解释语言的大脑区域。但它只限于一个特定的信息处理问题,并不会干扰思考的能力或理解复杂的想法。”

相关链接:
http://learningbeyondschooling.org/
http://www.nst.com.my/life-times/showbiz/people-dance-talks-1.103189
http://www.medicinenet.com/dyslexia/article.htm
我很喜欢的一个:”拥有阅读障碍恩赐的名人” http://www.dyslexia.com/famous.htm
http://hip-hop-dance.net/

GRaTiTuDe: “THiS Will ReaLLY Be a GooD DaY” 感恩:“今天将是一个真正的好日子”

GRaTiTuDe is being so beautifully presented by Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.  Watch: http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html

What the elderly man said in the video was so full of wisdom:

” You think this is just another day in your life – it’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you today. It’s given to you. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response is gratefulness. If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is, if you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life, and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well.

Begin by opening your eyes and be surprised that you have eyes you can open, that incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for pure enjoyment. Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment with clouds coming and going. We just think of the weather, and even of the weather we don’t think of all the many nuances of weather. We just think of good weather and bad weather. This day right now has unique weather, maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same that it is right now. Open your eyes. Look at that.

Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom, not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. We all go back so far. And in this present moment on this day all the people you meet, all that life from generations and from so many places all over the world, flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water, if you only open your heart and drink.

Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch and there is electric light. You turn a faucet and there is warm water and cold water — and drinkable water. It’s a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.

So these are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart. And so I wish for you that you would open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, that everyone whom you will meet on this day will be blessed by you; just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch — just by your presence. Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you, and then it will really be a good day.”

“感恩”被 “Louie Schwartzberg:自然。美丽。感恩。” 如斯这般美丽地呈现出来!请看:http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html

老人在视频里所说的一番话是那么地充满了智慧:

“你以为这只是又一个在你生命中的日子…不,这不只是又一天。这一天是是今天给予你的一份礼物。你当下唯一的礼物。你最恰当的反应应该是感恩。如果你对这独特的一天唯一的反应是感恩,如果你学会把它当作是你生命中的第一天而也是最后的一天,那,你将会好好地度过这一天。

首先请你睁开你的眼睛,请为你有一双可以张开的眼睛而感恩,请你为了那不断为我们提供纯粹享受的美丽的颜色阵列而感恩。也请你仰望天空。我们其实很少仰望天空。我们很少注意到天空云降临去的时刻。我们只顾及天气。甚至是天气,我们不认为天气有细微的差别。我们只想到天气的良好或恶劣。

你知道吗?在这一天,在这当下,现在所有的独特气候,也许永远不会再来。天空云层的形成,也许永远不会再相同的。请睁开你的眼睛,仔细地看一看。

看看你所遇到的周遭人的脸孔。每一个脸孔的背后都有一个了不起的故事,一个你也许永远无法完全捉摸的故事。那不仅仅是他们自己的故事,也包括了他们祖先的故事。而在这一天,在这当下,所有你遇到的人,都从不同年代,不同地方到此地与你相遇,就像给予生命的水汇流在一起。而你, 你只须打开你的心扉,便能畅快地痛饮。

打开你的心扉去接收文明给我们带来不可思议的礼物吧 — 你只须打开开关,就有电灯;你打开水龙头,就有温水和冷水 – 和饮用水。这些都是世界上数百万人无法拥有的经验,却是你可拥有的许许多多的礼物中的其中一小部分。

所以我极希望你能打开你的心扉去接收所有这些的祝福。用你的双眼,你的微笑,你的触摸 – 或仅仅是你的存在。让感恩满溢地的祝福着你,那么今天将是一个真正的好日子!”

WHY Character Strengths? 性格强项有啥重要?

Why Character Strengths?  Why are they important? Character Strengths are important because it is a critical underpin of your WELL BEING.  Well being, according to Oxford online dictionary, means “the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.”  A state where you are functioning at your best — a state all of us eagerly pursue in life.

According to Prof Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, to arrive at the state of well-being, there are has five measurable elements known as PERMA:

  • Positive Emotion – the pleasant life. i.e. your happiness, pleasure, gratification and fulfilment.
  • Engagement – When you are in a state of “Flow”, i.e. when you are completely absorbed by an activity and you lose sense of time.
  • Relationships – When you have a positive relationships with “other people”.  According to Dr Christopher Peterson, a pioneer in Positive Psychology, “doing a kindness (to other people) produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.”
  • Meaning – When you have larger-than-self purposes in life.
  • Accomplishment – When you are successful in pursuing achievement, winning and mastery for their own sakes.

AND — underpinning all these is the important fact that — USING and APPLYING your CHARACTER STRENGTHS lead to more positive emotion, better engagement, more meaning in life, better relationships and more accomplishment!

Do you know your own character strengths? You can find out and get a FREE full character strength report from HERE.

Reference:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1533
Martin E.P. Seligman (2010). Flourish Free Press

*****@@@@@*****

性格强项 (Character Strengths)有啥重要? 性格强项非常的重要!因为性格强项是你的幸福感(well-being)的必要支撑。根据牛津线上字典,幸福感是“处在一个舒适,健康,快乐的状态。”  一个我们都热切追求的最佳状态。

据马丁·塞利格曼教授,正面心理学之父,要达到这个最佳状态(幸福感)有五个必须的衡量要素:


正面的情绪:愉快的生活 – 关於你的幸福,快乐,遂意和满足感。
投入感: 当你处在“心流”(Flow)的状态 — 即当你完完全全地投入,全神贯注於一样活动而失去了时间感。
人际关系: 当你与“他人”有着正面而积极的关系。根据克里斯托弗·彼得森博士,一位正面心理学的先驱,“在所有的实验里,为他人做一件善事最能确切地在瞬间里为你增加幸福感。”
生命意义与宗旨:当你拥有一个大於自我的生活目的或生命的宗旨。
成就感:当你成功的拥有成就。

而你必须知道的一个重要的事实是:支撑着所有这一切一切的五个衡量要素的是 — 你的性格强项 — 使用你的性格强项会带来更正面的情绪,更好的投入感,更良好的人际关系,更多生命的意义和更大的成就!

你知道你的性格强项吗?你可以马上从这里揭晓,并获得一份免费全套关于您的性格优点分析报告。

参考:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/newsletter.aspx?id=1533
马丁塞利格曼(2010), FlourishFree Press出版

A Parade of STrenGThs 性格强项游行

A parade of character strengths by people from all walks of life (please click on the links to read about their inspiring stories):

来自各阶层性格强项的展示(请点击链接阅读有关他们激励人心的故事):

Do you have inspiring stories of people with character strengths to share?  Share them HERE!

你有关於性格强项的好故事吗? 欢迎你在这里分享!

The character strength of BRAVERY 性格优点的“勇敢”

“I left on Friday, I walked to school. Today I’m walking back home.
They can’t beat me.”

The character strength of BRAVERY is not about being fearless, it is about taking a course of action in the presence of fear and danger.  We recently wtinessed an excellent demonstration of the character strengths of “Bravery, Hope, Love and Gratitude” by a 12-year-old.

“我上周五从这里离开,步行到学校。今天我从这里步行回家。
他们可不能轻易地就打败我。“

性格优点里的“勇敢”绝不是相等於“无畏”。“勇敢”是在面对於恐惧和危险时,采取行动。我们最近就亲眼见证了一个十二岁的小男孩为“ 勇气,希望,爱和感恩 ”这四个性格优点作了一个最好的示范!