On Target! Progress of 3GT Strengths Project 达标!3GT计划的进度

In September last year, I started  3GT Strengths Project 3GT计划.  It has been 6 months now and it is a good time to conduct a review and give a progress report on the Project.

3GT Strengths Project is my effort of “giving” after an inspiring learning journey about Character Strengths with VIA Institute on Character.  3GT Strenghts Project offers each month  a FREE VIA Character Strengths profiling analysis report known as ViaPro Report (see sample) worth USD40.00 to one person who would like to learn more about his/her own strengths and how to use the strengths.

To-date, I have given away 6 VIAPro Reports to 6 persons and provided coaching sessions to go through the report with them.  Of the 6,  2 are ladies and 4 are gentlemen. 5 of them are between the age of 24-28, while one is aged 33.

The sessions were enlightening for me as I observed how each of them learned more about themselves in the process.  There were a few interesting observations I made:

The PoSiTiVes:

  • A Good Conversation Tool – VIAPro Report is an excellent tool to start a coaching conversation that gradually leading to a deeper level.
  • Accurate and Reflective– All 6 agree that the top 5-8 character strengths represent their strengths well, even though some disagree with the order of the ranking.
  • A-HA Moments – There is almost always some “A-HA” moments for the coachees, having sudden realisation or a deeper understanding of themselves, while we go through the VIAPro Report.  For instance, a coachee suddenly realised why he had been so unhappy with his current job despite the good monetary reward. His utmost character strength was Fairness, Equity and Justice. His work environment was providing just the opposite.
  • Values-linked – VIAPro Report not only tells of a person’s character strengths, it gives a good gauge of the person’s value system – what are the things that are important to them.  I rely on it a great deal, when I conduct career coaching, to assess work-environment fit. A good example will be the one I mentioned above.

The GaPS:

  • Career Relevance or the Lack thereof – Perhaps it was the age-group (24-33) that I am dealing with.  At this age, career success is their greatest concern. Their immediate response to the VIAPro Report was …”So, what does this mean to my career?”  They are obviously much less interested to know about their charater strengths than their skill strengths that will bring about career success.
  • Focus on Weaknesses – There is almost always a tendency for coachees to regard the lesser strengths as “weaknesses” and focus their questions on “how to improve” these lesser strengths them.  For instance, one gentleman was so disappointed that his “leadership” strength was at the bottom five that throughout the coaching session, his questions were just on how to strenghten his leadership skills.

Are you interested to find out your character strengths and get a FREE VIAPro profiling analysis? If yes, please click HERE.

从去年九月,我开始了3GT Strengths Project 3GT计划至今,已有六个月。六个月是一个很好的时间来对3GT计划作一个进度报告。

3GT计划是我在VIA研究所学习了关于人的性格优点后的一个回馈。目的只有一个:让更多的人知道他们所擅长的和他们性格上的优点,让大家能从而受益。3GT计划每月为一个人提供一份免费(价值USD40.00)的VIA性格优点分析报告(VIAPro报告,见样本)。让有兴趣的人,了解他们自己的性格优点。

至今,我已经把六份VIAPro报告送了出去,也给这六位朋友作了一至二小时的VIAPro报告辅导。六人当中,有四男两女。其中五人的年龄是介於24-28岁之间,而一位是33岁。

这六次的辅导不但给了我许多的启发,我也看到他们每一个都在过程中了对自己的了解到更多。我做了几个有趣的观察:

正面的:
绝妙的交谈工具:VIAPro报告绝对是一个作用於开始辅导交谈,并逐步向更深层次探讨的良好工具。
准确反映:即使有些人不同意它们的排名顺序, 所有六位朋友都同意他们的VIAPro报告所列出的五至八项的性格优点相当准确地反映了他们的性格上的长处。
恍然大悟的一刻:几乎每一位朋友都在我们讨论VIAPro报告时,有他们自己恍然大悟的一刻 — 一个突然觉悟,或突然更深入的明瞭自己的一刻。例如,其中的一位朋友终于明白为什么他尽管工作上有很好的酬劳,他还是非常的不开心。他最强的性格优点是为“公正,公平和正义”。而,他的工作正正提供了一个相反的工作环境。
价值挂钩:VIAPro报告不仅准确地反映了一个人的性格长处,它也是一个人价值体系的良好指标。当我进行职业指导时,我常用VIAPro报告来评估适合他们的工作环境。

有差距性的:
职业关连:也许是因为他们的年龄层(24-33),事业的成功发展是他们最大的焦点和关注。他们对VIAPro报告的即时反应通常都是……“那,这是否意味着我的职业生涯能/不能成功吗?” 很明显的,他们对他们的技术优势远比性格优点来得感兴趣。这是因为他们认为前者会带来事业的成功。
以弱点为焦点:六位朋友都不期然都会倾向於关注排名低的性格优点,并把它们视为“弱点”。他们的问题常常都集中在“如何改善”这些弱点”。例如,一位男士在看了他的VIAPro报告感到有点失望,因为他的“领导实力”排名在后五名。於是,他只关注在如何加强他的领导能力。

你有兴趣找出你的性格优点,并得到一份免费的VIAPro性格分析报告吗? 如果你有兴趣,请点击这里

One GooD THinG Money Cannot Buy 金钱无法买到的一件好事

“I really want to say thank you! The sessions with you have made me understand myself and my strengths so much better. I now know what I really want for my career.”

In our coaching practice, we are taught to always ask for feedback on whether the coaching sessions actually help.  This was one feedback  I received last week from someone I had been coaching for a while.  It was a rather difficult case and it makes the “thank you” all the more meaningful to me.  You may not be able to imagine, but I have to say the satisfaction and fulfilment I receive from this simple one-liner is something that monetary reward can never measure up.

Sincerely, THANK YOU for your “thank you”.  =)

What about you? Do you have one Good THinG that even money cannot buy or provide?  You are most welcome to share your experience here.

oooooOOOOOooooo

“我真的要对你说声谢谢!你的辅导让我对自己的了解加深了许多。现在,我终于知道我的长处和我真正想要追求的职业是什么了!谢谢!“

在我们的辅导教练实践里,我们总是被教导要常常征询反馈意见,以便了解自己所提供的辅导是否有真正的帮助到他们。而,以上的反馈意见,是我上个星期刚刚收到的。 由于那是一个相当困难的个案,这句“谢谢”对我来说有更为重大的意义。你也许不能意会,但我必须说这一句“谢谢“ 给我带来的工作满足和成就感绝对是金钱报酬所不能衡量的。

衷心地感谢你的“谢谢”。=)

你呢?你可有类似以上的经历 — 即使有钱也买不到或提供的?欢迎你在这里分享你的经验。
 
 

eCoach – Try it! 电子辅导 – 不妨一试!

www.theinnergame.com launched its Inner Game Electronic Coach and making it available for FREE for a limited period of time.

According to the website, the Inner Game eCoach is ” … a web-based personal coaching tool that helps you define your objectives, motivations, and strategies for moving towards your desired outcomes.  The process is designed to clarify your thinking about any issue,  problem, or goal.”

I tried it myself and found it a rather effective tool to help clarify and simply my thinking about an issue to enable me to be more focussed.

You may wish to give it a try: The Inner Game eCoach.  This may be particularly helpful if:
1. your issues are not a major one (but a confused one);
2. you do not really want to go through the hassles of finding a suitable coach;
3. you cannot justify nor see the need to pay for a coach for the issue; and
4. you do not wish or are uncomfortable to share your issues with others.

The Inner Game is an approach/methodology developed by Tim Gallwey for the development of personal and professional excellence in a variety of fields. Gallwey believes that “Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game. The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety.”

You can read more abou the Inner Game HERE.

www.theinnergame.com 推出了其“内部比赛”电子辅导,并在有限期间将它免费提供给有兴趣的人参於。

根据网站的信息,“内部比赛”电子辅导是 “……一个自我辅导(self-coaching)的网络工具。它可帮助你定义你的目标,动机和策略,以向你所设的目标前进。它的设计让你能在过程中,你的思想,以澄清有关的任何问题现在,问题或目标。”

我尝试了, 觉得它是一个相当有效的自我辅导工具。它帮助我专注于我想要解决的问题,并帮助我进一步澄清问题的关键所在。

你可以一试 : “内部比赛”电子辅导。这可能是你的一个好‘帮手’, 如果 —
1. 你的问题并不太大(但却感到思绪不清);
2. 你不想去面对寻找一个合适辅导教练的麻烦;
3. 你不能为你的问题自圆其说地去支付辅导教练;
4. 你不想与他人分享你的问题。

“内部比赛”是由Tim Gallwey所研究开发为个人和专业寻求杰出表现的一个方法。Gallwey认为,“每场比赛都是由两部分组成的:外在的实质比赛以及内部的心理赛。前者着重打击对手,并充满很多矛盾的建议;后者则是参赛者自己的心理状态和想法, 主要障碍来自自我怀疑和焦虑。”

你可以在这里阅读到更多关於“内部比赛”的咨讯。

Its all about MINDFULNESS 一个领悟: 觉知和专注

I recently attended a coach training. It was 2 days well spent with a seasoned coach who is passionate about coaching and about helping those who are equally passionate to fulfill their dreams.

The greatest takeaway for the 2 days is my deep reaslisation that a key differentiating factor that determines an effective coach from an average one is one of MINDFULNESS.

The Oxford Online Dictionary provides 2 explanations for “Mindfulness”:
1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something;
2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Applying it to coaching, mindfulness to me is being fully present for your coachee and paying full attention to what he/she is trying to tell you — through both verbal and non-verbal cues.  This is because the real issues of a person are often internal and buried deep within.

At the training, we were trained to pick up key words said by coachees and to closely observe their body languages. We were asked to learn paying absolute attention to both their spoken and unspoken words so that we could follow-up with better and more relevant questions to help coachees detect and unearth the real and (almost always) internal issues within.

One of the participants who himself already an experienced sales coach shared that, in order to be mindful, he even gave up note-taking during coaching sessions entirely so that his coachees can have his full attention.  He admitted it was very difficult initially but by practicing it diligently, he found that the coaching sessions become so much more effective.  What’s more, it helps train his auditory senses and they improve significantly.

A great lesson learned!

我最近参加了一个为期两天的辅导教练(coaching)培训课程。由一位对辅导教练充满了热情以及经验丰富的教练来培训我们。

这两天里,我最大的收获莫过于我对“辅导教练”有了一个很深切的领悟。那就是:一位优秀而有效率的教练(coach)和一位普通的教练的关键决定因素在於他们的觉知专注能力。亦即是教练如何给予他的辅导训练对象(coachee)绝对的注意力,藉而明确地通过他们口头和非口头上的线索正确地瞭解到他们的问题所在,从而有效率地帮助他们。

这是因为许多辅导训练对象的问题都是潜在的

在这次的培训中,教练对我们进行了以下严谨的训练:

  • 如何警觉地挑出你的辅导训练对象所说的关键词和密切观察他们的身体语言;
  • 如何要绝对注意他们的口语词和潜台词,

— 让我们可以跟进更好和更相关的问题,以帮助他们检测和发掘真正的问题所在。

一位本身已是一位有经验的销售教练的学员和我们分共享了他的心得: 为了给予他的辅导训练对象绝对的专注力,他甚至放弃了在谘询会议(coaching sessions)期间记笔记的习惯。他承认在刚开始时是有一定的困难的。然,努力练习多了,他发现他的谘询会议变得更加有效率。更重要的是,他发现没了记笔记的习惯竟然有助于培养他的听觉感官,让它们有了显著的改善。

宝贵的一课!

Two Bad Bricks and Positive Psycholgy 兩塊出錯的砖和正面心理学

I recently listened on youtube  to a talk by the venerable Ajahn Brahm, a buddhist monk resides in Perth Australia, speaking on the topic of happiness (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXkwj_0MIU&feature=related).  In this exceptionally simple yet profound talk, he shared a story of his personal encounter called “Two Bad Bricks”.

In the story, the venerable Ajahn Brahm was building a monasetry. When he completed one side of the wall with 1000 bricks, he was shocked to see that two bricks amongst the 1000 were not properly aligned. He was so agonized by these two bricks that spoilt the whole wall that he thought of taking down the wall, but that was not possible.  He was so upset over the two bad bricks that he could not stop thinking about it and lost sleep over it. Until one day, when what a visitor said woke him up.

The visitor said, “That’s a nice wall.”  Ajahn Brahm would not believe his ears and asked the visitor did he not see the two bad bricks that were not placed nicely.  And this was what Ajan Brahm said: “What he (the visitor) said next changed my whole view of that wall, of myself, and of many other aspects of life. He said, ‘Yes. I can see those two bad bricks. But I can see the 998 good bricks as well.’ “

Listening to “Two Bad Bricks” , I can’t help but notice how well it has encapsulated what positive psychology and strength-based coaching are about:  We must learn to see the whole picture — see the 998 good bricks and the 2 bad bricks.  Only then we can appreciate the whole beautiful wall. 

We often focus so much on seeing the negatives and finding faults that we miss the whole beautiful picture and wasted good talents.  It is a very good lesson learned.  This is indeed the essence of positive psychology and strength-based coaching: while we help individuals to work on areas that need improvement, we must also help them to identify and appreciate their strengths. And, from there, help them utilise their strengths and bring out the best in them.

You can also read the “Two Bad Bricks” story at this web-link.

我最近在 youtbue 听了阿姜布拉姆大师的一个有关于“幸福”的演說(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXkwj_0MIU&feature=related)。阿姜布拉姆大师是一位居住在澳大利亚珀斯佛教僧侶。在他这个简单而又非常深刻的演說里,他和大家分享了一个他亲身经历的故事:“兩塊出錯的砖”。

在故事里,阿姜布拉姆大师在忙着建设一所寺院。当他完成了一面有一千塊砖的牆壁時,他才惊觉到,竟有两块砖並没有整齐地排列好。他觉得那兩塊出錯的砖是如此难看,他非常痛苦难过。他想把整面墙推倒重建,但那是不可能的。他日夜思想着那两个出了錯的砖,不能睡眠。直至有一天,一位参观寺院游客所说的话敲醒了他:

那位游客看到那面一千塊砖的牆,赞道,“这是一面漂亮的墙。” 阿姜布拉姆大师几乎不敢相信自己的耳朵,问游客难道他没有看到那两块没有好好放置的砖?

阿姜布拉姆大师说:“他(游客)接下来所说的,彻彻底底, 完完全全改变了我对那面墙,以及对生命等诸多方面的整体观。游客说:’当然,我可以看到这两个出了錯的砖。但我可以看到九百九十八塊好的砖呀。’

我听完 阿姜布拉姆大师的故事,深觉 “兩塊出錯的砖“ 给正面心理學以及实力辅导教练作了一个很好的概括:我们应该学习看到完整画面:看到九百九十八塊沒出錯的好砖,也同时看到那兩塊出了差錯的砖。唯有这样,我们方不会錯过欣赏整面美丽的墙。

我们往往因为过於专注负面和发掘缺点,而错过了整个美丽的画面或浪费了良好的人才。这是值得我们学习的一课。 这真正是积极的心理和实力辅导教练的真髓:我们应帮助他人进行需要改善的,但也绝对必须帮助他们辨识他们的优点长处以及如何最好的去利用自己的长处。 让他们可以发挥所长。

你可在这里 读到”兩塊出錯的砖“ 的故事(繁体字)。

The Correct Answer is… 正确的答案是。。。

Remember this question:  2 minutes of your time, without discussing with anyone, what would be your answer to the following question? 

This is always the first “game”I play with those who come seek career advice. I normally watch in amazement how they would seriously and diligently be making an effort to provide the best combination answer.

The correct answer, however, is…   “I don’t know!” because you really dont.

This question is intentionally made faulty in nature. It misses out the most critical element before you can carefully consider giving a good answer: the DESTINATION.

This exercise is used to hopefully drive home three main points in making career decision:

Know Your Destination (Career Goal): one must know where he/she is going before he/she can sit down and plan for the right direction to head for, the type of transportation one would take and a good time for embarkation. This can’t be more appropriate an analogy when applies to picking a good career choice: you need to first know where you would like to end up with, say in 3 to 5 or 5 to 10 years (GenYers will tell you 5-10 years time frame is way too long for them. So, I do accept 3-5 year plan from them. 🙂 ) Only then you decide what to start with, how to go about and which is the best route to arrive at your planned “destination” — your career goal.

Do Not Rush: Never decide your career in 2 minutes.  Never rush into applying for jobs (especially if that is your first), nor following your friends — which are only too common among graduates.

Do Homework, Discuss with Relevant People: unlike the exercise where you are not allowed to discuss, in making a good career decision, you must discuss with relevant people to find out more. The operative word here is “relevant”. So, choose purposefully who are the right one to speak with.  Do your homework.

“How?” you would ask, regarding determining your career goal.  Get to know yourself more in-depth — here would be a good start.

*********************************************************

还记得这个问题吗: 用两分钟的时间,在不与任何人讨论的情况下,您对以下问题的答案是什么?

这通常是我给那些前来寻求职业咨询的人第一个的调查问题。我常会看傻了眼,因他们都会很认真努力地去给这个问题寻求一个最好的组合答案。

然,正确答案…“我不知道!”  因为你真的不可能知道。

这个问题是有故障性的。它缺少了一个最关键的因素:目的地 ! 

这个特意故障性的问题是想透彻地让人明白到三个关於选择适当职业的重点:

明确的目的地(职业目标):一个人必须知道他要到哪里,才可以坐下来计划他将前往的方向,交通工具的类型,出发的最好时机,等等等。这是一个不能更合适的比喻了:选择一个适当的职业,你首先需要知道的是你在三至五或五至十年内 (“八十后”必呱呱叫说五至十年的时限对他们来说是太长了。所有,我也接受他们三至五的计划。 🙂 ) 要抵达的目的地。只有这样,你方能好好地计划你的最佳路线去达到你的职业目标。

切忌鲁莽速行:切勿在二分钟内就决定你的职业生涯。不要急着忙於申请工作(尤其如果这是你的第一份职业),也请不要盲从於朋友的选择 – 这都是非常见的景象。你的首要步骤应该是明确地知道你的职业目标。

做功课及咨询有关人士:你必须从相关人士身上了解更多关於职业的资料。这里的重点是“相关”。所以,有目的地选择与有关人士咨询讨论。做好你的功课。

“我如何去明确地知道我的职业目标?”你会问。深入地了解自己 — 这里 会是一个好的开始。