GRaTiTuDe: “THiS Will ReaLLY Be a GooD DaY” 感恩:“今天将是一个真正的好日子”

GRaTiTuDe is being so beautifully presented by Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.  Watch: http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html

What the elderly man said in the video was so full of wisdom:

” You think this is just another day in your life – it’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you today. It’s given to you. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response is gratefulness. If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is, if you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life, and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well.

Begin by opening your eyes and be surprised that you have eyes you can open, that incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for pure enjoyment. Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment with clouds coming and going. We just think of the weather, and even of the weather we don’t think of all the many nuances of weather. We just think of good weather and bad weather. This day right now has unique weather, maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same that it is right now. Open your eyes. Look at that.

Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom, not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. We all go back so far. And in this present moment on this day all the people you meet, all that life from generations and from so many places all over the world, flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water, if you only open your heart and drink.

Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch and there is electric light. You turn a faucet and there is warm water and cold water — and drinkable water. It’s a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.

So these are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart. And so I wish for you that you would open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you, that everyone whom you will meet on this day will be blessed by you; just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch — just by your presence. Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you, and then it will really be a good day.”

“感恩”被 “Louie Schwartzberg:自然。美丽。感恩。” 如斯这般美丽地呈现出来!请看:http://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude.html

老人在视频里所说的一番话是那么地充满了智慧:

“你以为这只是又一个在你生命中的日子…不,这不只是又一天。这一天是是今天给予你的一份礼物。你当下唯一的礼物。你最恰当的反应应该是感恩。如果你对这独特的一天唯一的反应是感恩,如果你学会把它当作是你生命中的第一天而也是最后的一天,那,你将会好好地度过这一天。

首先请你睁开你的眼睛,请为你有一双可以张开的眼睛而感恩,请你为了那不断为我们提供纯粹享受的美丽的颜色阵列而感恩。也请你仰望天空。我们其实很少仰望天空。我们很少注意到天空云降临去的时刻。我们只顾及天气。甚至是天气,我们不认为天气有细微的差别。我们只想到天气的良好或恶劣。

你知道吗?在这一天,在这当下,现在所有的独特气候,也许永远不会再来。天空云层的形成,也许永远不会再相同的。请睁开你的眼睛,仔细地看一看。

看看你所遇到的周遭人的脸孔。每一个脸孔的背后都有一个了不起的故事,一个你也许永远无法完全捉摸的故事。那不仅仅是他们自己的故事,也包括了他们祖先的故事。而在这一天,在这当下,所有你遇到的人,都从不同年代,不同地方到此地与你相遇,就像给予生命的水汇流在一起。而你, 你只须打开你的心扉,便能畅快地痛饮。

打开你的心扉去接收文明给我们带来不可思议的礼物吧 — 你只须打开开关,就有电灯;你打开水龙头,就有温水和冷水 – 和饮用水。这些都是世界上数百万人无法拥有的经验,却是你可拥有的许许多多的礼物中的其中一小部分。

所以我极希望你能打开你的心扉去接收所有这些的祝福。用你的双眼,你的微笑,你的触摸 – 或仅仅是你的存在。让感恩满溢地的祝福着你,那么今天将是一个真正的好日子!”

Good One! – take 2 好东西(续)!

Quote

Peter Drucker (1905-2005) on Building STRENGTHS:

“We will have to learn to build organizations in such a manner that any man who has strength in one important area is capable of putting it to work.”

“The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths, making our system’s weaknesses irrelevant”

Some useful reflective questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you know your strengths?
2. Have you been able to apply and use your strengths each day at and outside of the workplace?
3. Are you a leader who focuses on building strengths?

彼得·德鲁克 (1905-2005) — 建立优势:

“我们必定要学习建立一个让任何有实力的人都能把其实力运用於工作上的机构。”

“领导的任务是创建一个实力阵线,使得我们系统的弱点变得完全不着边际。”

一些可让你思考的反射性问题:
1。
你知道你的实力优势吗?
2。 你可有机会每天都在工作上和工作以外运用你的实力吗?
3。 你是一个着重於建设实力优势的领袖吗?

On Target! Progress of 3GT Strengths Project 达标!3GT计划的进度

In September last year, I started  3GT Strengths Project 3GT计划.  It has been 6 months now and it is a good time to conduct a review and give a progress report on the Project.

3GT Strengths Project is my effort of “giving” after an inspiring learning journey about Character Strengths with VIA Institute on Character.  3GT Strenghts Project offers each month  a FREE VIA Character Strengths profiling analysis report known as ViaPro Report (see sample) worth USD40.00 to one person who would like to learn more about his/her own strengths and how to use the strengths.

To-date, I have given away 6 VIAPro Reports to 6 persons and provided coaching sessions to go through the report with them.  Of the 6,  2 are ladies and 4 are gentlemen. 5 of them are between the age of 24-28, while one is aged 33.

The sessions were enlightening for me as I observed how each of them learned more about themselves in the process.  There were a few interesting observations I made:

The PoSiTiVes:

  • A Good Conversation Tool – VIAPro Report is an excellent tool to start a coaching conversation that gradually leading to a deeper level.
  • Accurate and Reflective– All 6 agree that the top 5-8 character strengths represent their strengths well, even though some disagree with the order of the ranking.
  • A-HA Moments – There is almost always some “A-HA” moments for the coachees, having sudden realisation or a deeper understanding of themselves, while we go through the VIAPro Report.  For instance, a coachee suddenly realised why he had been so unhappy with his current job despite the good monetary reward. His utmost character strength was Fairness, Equity and Justice. His work environment was providing just the opposite.
  • Values-linked – VIAPro Report not only tells of a person’s character strengths, it gives a good gauge of the person’s value system – what are the things that are important to them.  I rely on it a great deal, when I conduct career coaching, to assess work-environment fit. A good example will be the one I mentioned above.

The GaPS:

  • Career Relevance or the Lack thereof – Perhaps it was the age-group (24-33) that I am dealing with.  At this age, career success is their greatest concern. Their immediate response to the VIAPro Report was …”So, what does this mean to my career?”  They are obviously much less interested to know about their charater strengths than their skill strengths that will bring about career success.
  • Focus on Weaknesses – There is almost always a tendency for coachees to regard the lesser strengths as “weaknesses” and focus their questions on “how to improve” these lesser strengths them.  For instance, one gentleman was so disappointed that his “leadership” strength was at the bottom five that throughout the coaching session, his questions were just on how to strenghten his leadership skills.

Are you interested to find out your character strengths and get a FREE VIAPro profiling analysis? If yes, please click HERE.

从去年九月,我开始了3GT Strengths Project 3GT计划至今,已有六个月。六个月是一个很好的时间来对3GT计划作一个进度报告。

3GT计划是我在VIA研究所学习了关于人的性格优点后的一个回馈。目的只有一个:让更多的人知道他们所擅长的和他们性格上的优点,让大家能从而受益。3GT计划每月为一个人提供一份免费(价值USD40.00)的VIA性格优点分析报告(VIAPro报告,见样本)。让有兴趣的人,了解他们自己的性格优点。

至今,我已经把六份VIAPro报告送了出去,也给这六位朋友作了一至二小时的VIAPro报告辅导。六人当中,有四男两女。其中五人的年龄是介於24-28岁之间,而一位是33岁。

这六次的辅导不但给了我许多的启发,我也看到他们每一个都在过程中了对自己的了解到更多。我做了几个有趣的观察:

正面的:
绝妙的交谈工具:VIAPro报告绝对是一个作用於开始辅导交谈,并逐步向更深层次探讨的良好工具。
准确反映:即使有些人不同意它们的排名顺序, 所有六位朋友都同意他们的VIAPro报告所列出的五至八项的性格优点相当准确地反映了他们的性格上的长处。
恍然大悟的一刻:几乎每一位朋友都在我们讨论VIAPro报告时,有他们自己恍然大悟的一刻 — 一个突然觉悟,或突然更深入的明瞭自己的一刻。例如,其中的一位朋友终于明白为什么他尽管工作上有很好的酬劳,他还是非常的不开心。他最强的性格优点是为“公正,公平和正义”。而,他的工作正正提供了一个相反的工作环境。
价值挂钩:VIAPro报告不仅准确地反映了一个人的性格长处,它也是一个人价值体系的良好指标。当我进行职业指导时,我常用VIAPro报告来评估适合他们的工作环境。

有差距性的:
职业关连:也许是因为他们的年龄层(24-33),事业的成功发展是他们最大的焦点和关注。他们对VIAPro报告的即时反应通常都是……“那,这是否意味着我的职业生涯能/不能成功吗?” 很明显的,他们对他们的技术优势远比性格优点来得感兴趣。这是因为他们认为前者会带来事业的成功。
以弱点为焦点:六位朋友都不期然都会倾向於关注排名低的性格优点,并把它们视为“弱点”。他们的问题常常都集中在“如何改善”这些弱点”。例如,一位男士在看了他的VIAPro报告感到有点失望,因为他的“领导实力”排名在后五名。於是,他只关注在如何加强他的领导能力。

你有兴趣找出你的性格优点,并得到一份免费的VIAPro性格分析报告吗? 如果你有兴趣,请点击这里

Its all about MINDFULNESS 一个领悟: 觉知和专注

I recently attended a coach training. It was 2 days well spent with a seasoned coach who is passionate about coaching and about helping those who are equally passionate to fulfill their dreams.

The greatest takeaway for the 2 days is my deep reaslisation that a key differentiating factor that determines an effective coach from an average one is one of MINDFULNESS.

The Oxford Online Dictionary provides 2 explanations for “Mindfulness”:
1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something;
2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Applying it to coaching, mindfulness to me is being fully present for your coachee and paying full attention to what he/she is trying to tell you — through both verbal and non-verbal cues.  This is because the real issues of a person are often internal and buried deep within.

At the training, we were trained to pick up key words said by coachees and to closely observe their body languages. We were asked to learn paying absolute attention to both their spoken and unspoken words so that we could follow-up with better and more relevant questions to help coachees detect and unearth the real and (almost always) internal issues within.

One of the participants who himself already an experienced sales coach shared that, in order to be mindful, he even gave up note-taking during coaching sessions entirely so that his coachees can have his full attention.  He admitted it was very difficult initially but by practicing it diligently, he found that the coaching sessions become so much more effective.  What’s more, it helps train his auditory senses and they improve significantly.

A great lesson learned!

我最近参加了一个为期两天的辅导教练(coaching)培训课程。由一位对辅导教练充满了热情以及经验丰富的教练来培训我们。

这两天里,我最大的收获莫过于我对“辅导教练”有了一个很深切的领悟。那就是:一位优秀而有效率的教练(coach)和一位普通的教练的关键决定因素在於他们的觉知专注能力。亦即是教练如何给予他的辅导训练对象(coachee)绝对的注意力,藉而明确地通过他们口头和非口头上的线索正确地瞭解到他们的问题所在,从而有效率地帮助他们。

这是因为许多辅导训练对象的问题都是潜在的

在这次的培训中,教练对我们进行了以下严谨的训练:

  • 如何警觉地挑出你的辅导训练对象所说的关键词和密切观察他们的身体语言;
  • 如何要绝对注意他们的口语词和潜台词,

— 让我们可以跟进更好和更相关的问题,以帮助他们检测和发掘真正的问题所在。

一位本身已是一位有经验的销售教练的学员和我们分共享了他的心得: 为了给予他的辅导训练对象绝对的专注力,他甚至放弃了在谘询会议(coaching sessions)期间记笔记的习惯。他承认在刚开始时是有一定的困难的。然,努力练习多了,他发现他的谘询会议变得更加有效率。更重要的是,他发现没了记笔记的习惯竟然有助于培养他的听觉感官,让它们有了显著的改善。

宝贵的一课!

Two Bad Bricks and Positive Psycholgy 兩塊出錯的砖和正面心理学

I recently listened on youtube  to a talk by the venerable Ajahn Brahm, a buddhist monk resides in Perth Australia, speaking on the topic of happiness (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXkwj_0MIU&feature=related).  In this exceptionally simple yet profound talk, he shared a story of his personal encounter called “Two Bad Bricks”.

In the story, the venerable Ajahn Brahm was building a monasetry. When he completed one side of the wall with 1000 bricks, he was shocked to see that two bricks amongst the 1000 were not properly aligned. He was so agonized by these two bricks that spoilt the whole wall that he thought of taking down the wall, but that was not possible.  He was so upset over the two bad bricks that he could not stop thinking about it and lost sleep over it. Until one day, when what a visitor said woke him up.

The visitor said, “That’s a nice wall.”  Ajahn Brahm would not believe his ears and asked the visitor did he not see the two bad bricks that were not placed nicely.  And this was what Ajan Brahm said: “What he (the visitor) said next changed my whole view of that wall, of myself, and of many other aspects of life. He said, ‘Yes. I can see those two bad bricks. But I can see the 998 good bricks as well.’ “

Listening to “Two Bad Bricks” , I can’t help but notice how well it has encapsulated what positive psychology and strength-based coaching are about:  We must learn to see the whole picture — see the 998 good bricks and the 2 bad bricks.  Only then we can appreciate the whole beautiful wall. 

We often focus so much on seeing the negatives and finding faults that we miss the whole beautiful picture and wasted good talents.  It is a very good lesson learned.  This is indeed the essence of positive psychology and strength-based coaching: while we help individuals to work on areas that need improvement, we must also help them to identify and appreciate their strengths. And, from there, help them utilise their strengths and bring out the best in them.

You can also read the “Two Bad Bricks” story at this web-link.

我最近在 youtbue 听了阿姜布拉姆大师的一个有关于“幸福”的演說(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXkwj_0MIU&feature=related)。阿姜布拉姆大师是一位居住在澳大利亚珀斯佛教僧侶。在他这个简单而又非常深刻的演說里,他和大家分享了一个他亲身经历的故事:“兩塊出錯的砖”。

在故事里,阿姜布拉姆大师在忙着建设一所寺院。当他完成了一面有一千塊砖的牆壁時,他才惊觉到,竟有两块砖並没有整齐地排列好。他觉得那兩塊出錯的砖是如此难看,他非常痛苦难过。他想把整面墙推倒重建,但那是不可能的。他日夜思想着那两个出了錯的砖,不能睡眠。直至有一天,一位参观寺院游客所说的话敲醒了他:

那位游客看到那面一千塊砖的牆,赞道,“这是一面漂亮的墙。” 阿姜布拉姆大师几乎不敢相信自己的耳朵,问游客难道他没有看到那两块没有好好放置的砖?

阿姜布拉姆大师说:“他(游客)接下来所说的,彻彻底底, 完完全全改变了我对那面墙,以及对生命等诸多方面的整体观。游客说:’当然,我可以看到这两个出了錯的砖。但我可以看到九百九十八塊好的砖呀。’

我听完 阿姜布拉姆大师的故事,深觉 “兩塊出錯的砖“ 给正面心理學以及实力辅导教练作了一个很好的概括:我们应该学习看到完整画面:看到九百九十八塊沒出錯的好砖,也同时看到那兩塊出了差錯的砖。唯有这样,我们方不会錯过欣赏整面美丽的墙。

我们往往因为过於专注负面和发掘缺点,而错过了整个美丽的画面或浪费了良好的人才。这是值得我们学习的一课。 这真正是积极的心理和实力辅导教练的真髓:我们应帮助他人进行需要改善的,但也绝对必须帮助他们辨识他们的优点长处以及如何最好的去利用自己的长处。 让他们可以发挥所长。

你可在这里 读到”兩塊出錯的砖“ 的故事(繁体字)。

3 Questions to a Preferred Career Choice 三个关键问题决定首选职业

“What is the best career choice for me?”

In my line of work, this is perhaps THE most frequently asked question by the new graduates I worked with.  It is not surprising given they are fresh out of school.  In many cases, their graduating from a particular discipline has absolutely nothing to do with their career aspirations but what their parents have wanted them to study.

To answer the question, I like to show them the three big circles and answer their question by asking the following three questions (remember? We discussed this before.  The answers lie with them.  We are just there to ask good questions to help draw the answers out from them):-

Question (1) Passion – what do you really enjoy doing?  When you are doing a task that you are passionate about, you feel engaged and energized, you feel excited, you forget about time.  

Question (2) Strengths – what are you really good at doing?  If you are good at something, you demonstrate a rapid learning curve compared to others around you.  

Question (3) Values – what are the things that are so important to you that you will not trade them for anything?

Career choices that meet all the above, i.e. those in the intersection of the three circles, I tell them, would be your preferred career choices.  These choices match your passion with your strengths and are in congruence with your value system.  When you are doing something you are really passionate about and are good at it, naturally you would be performing outstandingly and happy.  It also brings sustainability.

“What about money?”  They would usually follow-up with this question.

“When you find a career within this intersection that sees you both happy and performing at your career, money will come.” is always my answer. 

Of course, they would eventually learn that money indeed has very little to do with career satisfaction and happiness in life.

What about your career? Is it one in the intersection of your Passion, Strengths and Values?  Are you happy with what you are doing?  Do feel free to share your views.“什么是最适合我的职业选择?”

在我的工作里,这绝对是我最常被新毕业生问及的一个问题。这并不奇怪,因为他们都刚从大学毕业。而大部分的学生,他们毕业於那一学科与他们的职业愿望是没有任何挂钩的。他们只是尊从他们父母的意见去选科。

我答这个问题的方法是回问他们三个问题(记得吗?我们曾经谈过这个问题:问题和答案都确实是在他们身上。我们的责任只在於问好的问题,以帮助他们从中找到答案。):-

问题(一)强烈爱好 — 你真正喜欢做什么任务?当你对某件任务有着强烈爱好时,你在从事这件任务时,会完全投入而处在激励的状态中,你会忘了时间的存在。

问题(二)优点长处 — 你的专长是什么?你最擅长的是在哪方面?这意味着和你周围的人相比,你在这方面有一个较他人快速的学习曲线。

问题(三)价值观 —什么是对你如此重要,你无论如何不会把它与任何东西作交换的?

我告诉他们,这三个答案的交集处,将是你首选的职业。这些选择配合了你的优点长处,你的强烈爱好,也和你的价值观有着一致性。当你对你的职业有着真正的热情,而它又能让你展现你的长处,你自然而然会有突出的表现和感到开心满足。

“那钱呢?不在被考虑范围内吗?” 他们通常都会跟进这个问题。

“当你在三个答案的交集处,找到一个能让你表现突出和感到满足的职业,钱是会跟来的。”是我一贯的答案。

当然,他们最终将会亲身体验到金钱与职业的满足感和生活的快乐幸福其实从来都没有太大的关系。

您的职业呢?它可是的强烈爱好,特长和价值观的交集?它可有为您带来满足感和幸福?欢迎您分享您的看法。