The Golden Mean (VIA Stop 3-2)中庸之道(第三站-2)

I have a field day meeting one of my group members on Skype.  This lady is so full of energy and perspectives (which happens to be one of her signature strengths).  We exchange quite some views on how we feel about each other’s strengths and the areas we would like to strengthen further.  What makes our meeting even more interesting and meaningful is the fact that, while we are alike in some of our strengths,  we are totally the opposite in others i.e. her higher ranking strengths are my lower ones, and vice versa.  Because of this, we can learn a lot from each other.  It is indeed an amazing encounter.

For my Third VIA Stop, my 3 new discoveries are:

  1. The virtue of BALANCE – it is important to use our strengths relative to situations and contexts with the right degree and the right timing.
  2. We tend to underuse our strengths as, culturally, we are more inclined to focus on weaknesses and what we do not do well. I would say this is even more prominent in the culture of the East.
  3. When we pay attention to people’s strengths, we can learn so much from them — irrespective of whether we are alike or we are totally the opposite. I learn from my Skype session the essence of a Chinese saying, “Among three persons, there must be one who can be my teacher.”

Onto my third week of the VIA journey, I have become more mindful of my strengths.  I now pay more attention to whether I am overusing or underusing them and am working hard to strike a better balance.  I begin to understand much better why I behave in certain ways and why I am so much happier in my present job than the one before.

我和我的一位组成员在Skype展开了第一次的讨论会议。这位女士充满了活力和智慧(这恰好是她的性格优点之一)。我们交换对彼此性格优点的观点,也论及我们希望进一步加强的性格区域。而使我们的会议更有趣和有意义的却是因为我们有着好些完全相反的性格,即她排行高的性格优点是我的排行很低的,反之亦然。正因如此,我们有许多地方可向彼此学习。这着实是一次很有意思的会晤。

在VIA的第三站,我有三个新的发现

  1. 平衡的学问:要能观察到当下的情况和背景,以正确的程度并在恰当的时机下使用我们的性格优点。
  2. 基于文化的熏陶,尤其是东方的文化背景,我们往往倾向于把重点放在我们(或他人)的弱点上而没有充分地利用我们(或他人)性格上的长处。
  3. 当我们开始关注他人的长处时,我们就可以从他们身上学到很多东西。我和组员的Skype会议让我深深地体会到“三人行必有我师焉”的寓意。

这是我第三个星期的学习之旅。我更用心地去关注使用我的性格优点。我也更关注我是否有过度或过少地使用它们。在运用当下,我也努力尝试去取得更好的平衡。我开始更加了解我自己在某些方面的行为表现。还有,我明白了为什么我现在这份工作, 比起我的前一份工作, 带给我多很多的满足感。

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